At the beginning of Chapter three, Lewis talks about how he is struggling with his feelings. He is tired of just "feeling" so he tries thinking for a change. H.'s death has made him doubt everything he believed in and now he is struggling with the thought that he never believed it in the first place. I have had this happen to me before. We think we have it all figured out and everything is going great in then something happens that makes us doubt what we thought we believed. Lewis refers to this faith a being like a deck of cards. Everything is fine and dandy until our faith is tested and then it just falls apart. God did promise that we would suffer in this life and he said blessed are those who mourn but when something bad happens to us we seem to forget what we had bargained for. Our faith must be truly grounded if we are survive the times when bad things happen to us. We must be planted firmly in good soil. Lewis says, "I thought I trusted the rope until it mattered to me whether it would bear me." Such a true statement, but it doesn't have to. We have a rope, so to speak, that we can trust to hold us when it matters.
Lewis talks about him calling God a Cosmic Sadist not as an expression of thought but as of hatred. You that feeling when you get back at someone when they have done something to make you mad. You feel good after it but only for a little while. You soon see the error of your ways and man up and apologize. You can say what you think but what you think doesn't mean it is necessarily true. We all lash out with our emotions just to get that high of feeing better but it isn't the right way to react. Maturity is a painful process but ultimately necessary to deal with people and situations in an adult way.
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